So Random

It's so random. I just commented on her post and she mentioned someone. The one I have yet to meet for the past 4 years. Of course I do not wish the someone will find me. Just let it be. I believe in fate. If we are fated to meet again, we will surely meet. Somehow, we are just in the same island. Who knows even tough we meet each other, we couldn't recognise each other. I won't hope for any to repeat the history again. All I want is to live happily as usual. I could have back to island around that date but obviously I'm hiding from someone. Haha. Usin examination as an excuse is a great idea too.  I believe that she will give my contact number to the someone. So, let's wait and see how miracles would work again if we are fated. 🙇‍♀️

I'm back here AGAIN...

Hello, readers! It's been a long time since I abundant here. A lot of things happened, time flies and I'm here to share my thoughts again.

For the past 2 years in my university life, I joined various events ranging from my hostel to international events as a secretariat and held many high posts from a normal member to Vice Project Director. Sometimes, I'm happy with everything but as time goes by, I know that actually all these aren't not important. I at first joined events and clubs are for the experience. Now, I went through many happy and sad moments and the important thing is the experience I gained. I know that in the future I will use it too. I met a lot of people, knowing them good or bad, work together as a teammate, as a family and so on. Until a certain point, I felt that I'm very tired and is totally fed up of joining any events again. Sometimes, I just felt I don't want to attend any meeting at all although they are not clash in timing. Sometimes, if they're clash in timing, I even have to find excuse to attend the most important meeting (based on the event's date) or to ask my assistant to replace me for that meeting. It was a depressed moment for my second semester in year 2. I was too busy until I have to let go an international event (HOCKEY) as a liaison officer assistant coordinator. Obviously, I was quite sad but because I need to have some rest time for myself, I have to do so. 

Joining events are good. I learn a lot of things all the time. Even though I'm holding a high position, every time, I assist my teammates to solve problems, I learn the process and every single moment with them. BUT now, it's different. I'm letting go my EGOness, my competitiveness and everything that I'm not joining any of them again. I JUST WANT to be a normal student, who lead a simple life but at the same time shine on my own. It's just a simple one will do. Right? Chasing events, compete with the time, run up and down, persuading people, meeting here and there, facing officers and staffs, seeking help with thick face, asking for favour in return and so on. I'm done with all these things. It's time to let the juniors or other people to take over everything. I want to enjoy my third year life as a student. 

It's great now. I'm slowing down my pace of life, turning around to share the moments with my friends and family members. Sometimes, it's good to have a pause button in our life, to look back how far we have been and everything. It's jus and a give and take ticket for us to reminisce the moments later on. I'm much more happier, no more wrinkles on my forehead and of course I can talk more with anyone now. I'm not rushing of time.

I'm happy NOW... :)

There is time that I really have to give in...

It's not that I don't want to fight until the end. I'm just totally fed up with everything they have done to me. From the moment I was chosen to enter as a secretariat committee for that event until I found out their previous chat in the chat box, I sense something fishy. In my opinion, you as the head of department should be fair to everyone including in choosing people. I wonder how could I be chosen during that interview. Perhaps due to my experience for my past events. You should priority in which event is coming along instead of just focusing on your society's event. This is totally unfair. Have you ever think of your leader's feeling. Maybe because you are friends, she doesn't mind of that. If I were not there, could your be able to get so many sponsors? All of you were just busy doing your own things.

Even now, when choosing the top committee, the way you choose is totally ridiculous. How could they happen? I know I have no right to voice out to the leader. Yet, I think that it's not necessary for me to say out. What had happened already past. Look at all the work I have done, people take credited for my work. This is the kind of working ethics that you should practiced. Choose people with the most commitment and the leadership. I'm not saying that I'm the best. When people look at the top committee, people could sense it as well. Please don't be selfish just because you want to prepare for your hidden event. I'm sick of it. Every time I meet you, you still can smile and ask me how are you. I'm so speechless. How could this kind of things happen? The world has changed. If this kind of thing really happen, not saying that I'm sad or what, it's because I can't stand to see such kind of things happen. You might feel proud of everything but when you see things on the other way, it's actually different.

We build leaders with true leadership skills. Everything happens must with a valid reason. I give in to the people who take credit of my work. At least, I learned a lot from this incident.

GIVE IN...

Aloha~

Hey, I'm back again. It's been a long time for me not blogging. Apologize to all the readers. I was super busy for the last semester as I was holding a number of posts busy handling all kinds of events be it local or international level.

Of course, throughout the whole semester, I faced a lot of obstacles, tried hard to figure the best solutions to settle all those sudden popped up issues. Sometimes, I even felt to let go of everything. I felt the tiredness and also the feeling of getting fed up. Each time, there were lots of meetings, always clashing to each others. It was hard for me to choose which meeting to attend. I could only choose the one, which was more important to attend and what kind of meeting was it. They even blamed me for not giving commitment. Yes, everyone could said  that but if you were standing at my side, you could also felt what I was feeling. It's not about the greedy me competing to hold many posts, it's because I was given the trust to hold such posts. The moment when you were being hurt by the people surrounding you, you no longer could feel the sense of belonging.

Taking up so many posts at the same time was a huge burden. I admit that I'm the perfectionist as I don't wish to ruin my name. Even during the event's time, there were rumours posting in the confession. Obviously, I was quite down at the moment. Can you imagine for all my events, I chose people whom I trust and can give full commitment. Suddenly, there were people accusing me of getting the post because they dislike the society. I was given the trust because they believe on my ability to handle the first time international level event. This was not an easy one. I was not known until my junior told me that. I discussed this issue with my senior and he advised me not to believe those things. People might easy create issue because of jealousy or because they do not know anything but wished to relate all those unrelated things together. I was the innocent victim. The feeling was so down to me. I just wanted to stop everything at that time. Even student representative council vice president also comfort me. Look, I'm indeed the victim.

Things go around and time flies. I was very tired in handling another camp. It was my first time of taking such department. Of course, strong mentality and physical are needed. I was working hard at all time. If there was no bonding, how could they do things? To me, as what I was guided by those leaders, the bonding among the secretariats are very important. I feel the same too. Without bonding, the secretariat members would not care much or less about the others thing. They would only do the things they were assigned to. Sometimes, even though we are not involved in that department, if people ask for help, we should automatically offer our sincere help. I don't care whether you like it or not, whoever under me should know that I always together as a team. I want my team to stay unite at all time no matter what had happened. It's my first time to build up a team with great bonding. To break the ice, it's not impossible, it's the willingness of doing it.

It was a hard time for me during the last semester. Making decisions here and there. Sometimes, I made the correct choice, sometimes the other way round. I joined events not because I'm greedy for the posts but because of the passion of learning. I wish to learn and gain the experience that I can't get from the text books or lecture notes. Organising events allow me to learn various soft skill. I learn the way of mingling with people, the way of seeking help from the others when I was truly had no ideas at all. Of course, at certain moment, I was not in a good mood. When I'm totally down, I was lazy to talk with people. It gives me a sense that I'm fed up of everything.

I have great people surrounding me. Their encouragements and helps really assist me a lot. I'm happy to have great friends from the previous events I joined, giving me lots of infinite help, which reduce my burden. Everything is the first time of handling things. At least I have people to turn up willing to listen to my grumbling.

The road along my journey are still very long. I'm just at the first half of the beginning only. Feeling positive are the only cure to survive. WE CHOOSE THE PATH, SO WE HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO WALK THE BEST PATH...