First Half of 2017

Again, I'm here to write how I went through the first half of 2017. 'Chaos' is the word used to describe how I felt and was for my situation. Year 3 semester 2 was a busy yet challenging semester where we had 3 research papers, many assignments as well as tons of presentations. Of course, as we went higher, we would face more unpredictable challenges. When there were lots of things to be done, we would be stressed easily which can brought up a quarrel at any time. I believe that time management is very important. Without proper time management, regardless of how talented or brilliant we are, it is still useless. We somehow might feel great of ourselves. Being proud of ourselves is good but not too much We wanted to do the best but if one of us failed to provide cooperation, everything will not go well. If things do not go well as we hope, arguments will definitely occur and we would easily get into a fight.

Yet, we managed to go through everything. We won one of the best research paper presentation and received a reward from them. We would...

To be continued...

Again...

I dreamed of someone again. This person suddenly reacted so differently to me until I couldn't react at the same time. What if this really happen? Will I be brave enough to reject or to begin everything again? So many questions surrounding me. Of course, there are conversations between us. As usual, I still couldn't trust the words given by this person. What if we really meet later on? Can I answer you or take up my first step to speak with you? I'm confused and I'm not sure. Looking from the pictures, I know you're far so good and better. I don't wish to contact you right now to express my thoughts because I believe that we'll meet someday. We did make a promise right? Whenever I go, you'll be with me. Even though it's far, it could still be somewhere around, it's either closer or just in front. All the best for you. Tell me more about yourself till we really meet face to face. I'll let the time answer for me. Gambatte :)

How are you?

I had some news regarding someone, my old friend. It's been 5 years we haven't meet each other. How are you now? Frankly say, I do admit I miss you so much, especially our friendship. How would it be now if I tell u the truth last time? The history would not be the same. Perhaps sweeter or worse than now. Sometimes, I do wonder what if I accidentally meet you here? How would I react? Will I pretend not to know you? Or will I be the first person to call your name? Will you recognise me? Will you remember me? Will you still know my name? There's a lot of questions wandering in my mind. How do you do now? Everything ok? Better? I believe in fate and I know that we will meet someday when the timing is correct. It's close enough yet too far. Do u feel the same? Do u think the same thing as I am thinking now? From the picture, you changed a lot. Hopefully you are as bubbly as usual, the one I know for years. All the best for you. I will pray for you with the best wishes. Sometimes when I'm stress in handling events but when I remember your words that it's not how much I joined for events, it's the journey or the experience that counts. Even until today, I still believe that's the best motivating quote for me. Thank you for bringing me up and making me a stronger person. I would like to thank you one day. 😊

PEOPLE DO CHANGE...

I notice that the changes in people are so scary. They can change just in a blink of an eye. They change because of the desire to do something. They can still cover the changes with lies. It is so obvious that I could see it myself. I do not mind if you do so. Just be aware that we are the people surrounding you. We can feel it.

That was just a group discussion. I knew that both of them are the greatest, of course you can still sit beside them. But do mind that there are still people in the same group with you, doing the same discussion. We can feel how you treat them. Since this is a discussion, it should be a discussion environment with everyone sitting in a round shape where everyone can see each other. It should not be you the one blocking the others purposely. There are manners in a real discussion, the voice projections, the gesture in conducting a discussion and the others. You are such a person who only care for yourself.

I'm trying to ignore this. I'm doing my part. I'm working harder with all the efforts I could provide in doing my task. This is a real life. I admit that it could be cruel. I understood the life cycle. I accept it.

So Random

It's so random. I just commented on her post and she mentioned someone. The one I have yet to meet for the past 4 years. Of course I do not wish the someone will find me. Just let it be. I believe in fate. If we are fated to meet again, we will surely meet. Somehow, we are just in the same island. Who knows even tough we meet each other, we couldn't recognise each other. I won't hope for any to repeat the history again. All I want is to live happily as usual. I could have back to island around that date but obviously I'm hiding from someone. Haha. Usin examination as an excuse is a great idea too.  I believe that she will give my contact number to the someone. So, let's wait and see how miracles would work again if we are fated. 🙇‍♀️

I'm back here AGAIN...

Hello, readers! It's been a long time since I abundant here. A lot of things happened, time flies and I'm here to share my thoughts again.

For the past 2 years in my university life, I joined various events ranging from my hostel to international events as a secretariat and held many high posts from a normal member to Vice Project Director. Sometimes, I'm happy with everything but as time goes by, I know that actually all these aren't not important. I at first joined events and clubs are for the experience. Now, I went through many happy and sad moments and the important thing is the experience I gained. I know that in the future I will use it too. I met a lot of people, knowing them good or bad, work together as a teammate, as a family and so on. Until a certain point, I felt that I'm very tired and is totally fed up of joining any events again. Sometimes, I just felt I don't want to attend any meeting at all although they are not clash in timing. Sometimes, if they're clash in timing, I even have to find excuse to attend the most important meeting (based on the event's date) or to ask my assistant to replace me for that meeting. It was a depressed moment for my second semester in year 2. I was too busy until I have to let go an international event (HOCKEY) as a liaison officer assistant coordinator. Obviously, I was quite sad but because I need to have some rest time for myself, I have to do so. 

Joining events are good. I learn a lot of things all the time. Even though I'm holding a high position, every time, I assist my teammates to solve problems, I learn the process and every single moment with them. BUT now, it's different. I'm letting go my EGOness, my competitiveness and everything that I'm not joining any of them again. I JUST WANT to be a normal student, who lead a simple life but at the same time shine on my own. It's just a simple one will do. Right? Chasing events, compete with the time, run up and down, persuading people, meeting here and there, facing officers and staffs, seeking help with thick face, asking for favour in return and so on. I'm done with all these things. It's time to let the juniors or other people to take over everything. I want to enjoy my third year life as a student. 

It's great now. I'm slowing down my pace of life, turning around to share the moments with my friends and family members. Sometimes, it's good to have a pause button in our life, to look back how far we have been and everything. It's jus and a give and take ticket for us to reminisce the moments later on. I'm much more happier, no more wrinkles on my forehead and of course I can talk more with anyone now. I'm not rushing of time.

I'm happy NOW... :)

There is time that I really have to give in...

It's not that I don't want to fight until the end. I'm just totally fed up with everything they have done to me. From the moment I was chosen to enter as a secretariat committee for that event until I found out their previous chat in the chat box, I sense something fishy. In my opinion, you as the head of department should be fair to everyone including in choosing people. I wonder how could I be chosen during that interview. Perhaps due to my experience for my past events. You should priority in which event is coming along instead of just focusing on your society's event. This is totally unfair. Have you ever think of your leader's feeling. Maybe because you are friends, she doesn't mind of that. If I were not there, could your be able to get so many sponsors? All of you were just busy doing your own things.

Even now, when choosing the top committee, the way you choose is totally ridiculous. How could they happen? I know I have no right to voice out to the leader. Yet, I think that it's not necessary for me to say out. What had happened already past. Look at all the work I have done, people take credited for my work. This is the kind of working ethics that you should practiced. Choose people with the most commitment and the leadership. I'm not saying that I'm the best. When people look at the top committee, people could sense it as well. Please don't be selfish just because you want to prepare for your hidden event. I'm sick of it. Every time I meet you, you still can smile and ask me how are you. I'm so speechless. How could this kind of things happen? The world has changed. If this kind of thing really happen, not saying that I'm sad or what, it's because I can't stand to see such kind of things happen. You might feel proud of everything but when you see things on the other way, it's actually different.

We build leaders with true leadership skills. Everything happens must with a valid reason. I give in to the people who take credit of my work. At least, I learned a lot from this incident.

GIVE IN...